It wasn’t a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but there’s the weather for you.
- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, Good Omens
We’re the anti-thesis to the theory that just because you like extreme music and you like Metal that you have to be uncaring and unconscious.
- Barney Greenway on the subject of Napalm Death, from Metal: A Headbangers Journey (Bonus section)
There exists in this world a spider the size of a dinner plate, a foot wide if you include the legs. It’s called the Goliath Bird-Eating Spider, or the “Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider” by those who have actually seen one.
It doesn’t eat only birds, it mostly eats rats and insects, but they still call it the “Bird-Eating Spider” because the fact that it can eat a bird is the most important thing you need to know about it. If you run across one of these things, like in your closet or crawling out of your bowl of soup, the first thing somebody will say is, “Watch it, man, that thing can eat a goddamned bird
I don’t know how they catch the birds. I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can’t fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it “sir” because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Flying Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay.
- This Book Is Full Of Spiders (David Wong)
Everything in the universe is everything else. A man is a killer is a saint is a monkey is a cockroach is goldfish is a whale, and the Devil is just the angel who asked for More.